


Dear Mr.Stockhlom...Syndrome?

by Bobertzha



Series: Dear Mr.Stockhlom...Syndrome? [1]
Category: Dear Mr.Stockhlom...Syndrome?
Genre: Gun Violence, Kidnapping, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Original Fiction, Road Trips, Sexual Content, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-10
Updated: 2020-02-10
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:40:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22654879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bobertzha/pseuds/Bobertzha
Summary: How many people can be kidnapped in their lives, and how many teenagers who have mental illness can be involved. Well, Spen is the luck one who win the lottery. He did ask for it, but troubles just won't let him alone. But maybe, just maybe, none of these is so bad, if he feels closer, he may find something, someway to save him and his kidnapper who he unbelievably grows to like.Shawn never thought to kidnap anyone, he tells himself he's just forcing a friend to go for a trip. But everything falls apart when he discovers things are way out of his control. He doesn't know what he's been doing, he follows his guts and keeps making things worse. Among all of them, one of the worst is he incurably falls in love with his victim.
Relationships: Spencer Walther & Shawn Evens
Series: Dear Mr.Stockhlom...Syndrome? [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1629727





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> As I began to love myself I found that anguish and emotional suffering are only warning   
> signs that I was living against my own truth.
> 
> As I began to love myself I quit trying to always be right, and ever since I was wrong less of the time.
> 
> As I began to love myself I recognized that my mind can disturb me and it can make me sick.

**Spen**

**** ***** **...** **SO** **WAKE** **UP** **!** **YOUR** **SLEEPING** **HEART** **…** *****

I reach out to the alarm. I let my hand whisks over the bedside table, groping things like a thief. Nope, that’'s my cup, ouch, my little surfer sculpture, I should put that away. Finally, here is the clock. I push it towards me and that’s when the sound, that I’m-so-screwed sound, screeches from the floor. Oh no, come on, I was struggling to turn to the left side, lying on the hem of my bed, looking at the miserable situation. That is, well, was my favorite smart alarm clock which now is nothing but pieces of garbage lying on the floor. And now I have to get up and clean up all these messes, what a nice beginning of the day.

Here comes the bad news, I just murdered my alarm clock, though I’'m glad the song breathed its last. (One small tip: If there is any song that you can’'t get off from your head, set it as your morning alarm.) What about the good news? I guess that is my parents won’'t be home until two weeks later, they are both in Berlin, where they are attending a medical conference. Having two doctor parents isn’'t really a stirring thing, though you don’t have to worry about you’d be staving or homeless someday, or lacking of college financial support, but which also means I grew up basically on my own. Don’t get me wrong, it’s just sometimes they’re just too overwhelmed by the jobs, I’m not complaining anything, they are both amazing parents.

And how am I gonna survive the next following two weeks? That’'s a good question. I haven’'t said that our family got a helper, Jeff, due to my condition, it was Jeff looking after me when my parents both weren’t at home, he was a perfect helper, a great house keeper, and a better big brother, he still is. But then I just grew up, and he graduated from college, he started showing up less and less, which made me feel like itching inside, that’'s when I realize I got this feeling for boys. Now I don’'t see him in that way anymore, especially after he has got a girlfriend. All I need to do when my survival supplies run out is calling him, and he will show up in no time and bring me everything I need. That punctuality is another thing I like about him. My parents knew about the Jeff…stuff, but they just turned a blind eye because I haven’'t done anything real. I came out to them when I was fifteen, and they the only ones who know by far, not that I’'m ashamed of being who I truly am or having problems to talk about it. It’'s just I don’'t want to make a big deal, but coming out is a big deal, isn’'t it? When I first came out to my parents, we had this long, serious and awkward conversation. When I finally admitted that I was probably gay, my parents’ faces changed into some expression that I didn’t recognize. I was so nervous that I’'d be kicked out or sent to somewhere called Straighten Camp. I had seen such a thing on YouTube and TV News that there are about 0.64 million young people of sexual minorities out there, experiencing the homelessness, and most of them have been kicked out and rejected by the people who were supposed to love them beyond the whole world, instead abandoning them just for being who they really were. My heart was gonna popped out of my throat, and then was my dad who broke the ice first.

“Well…” He said, and looked to my mother, asking for something was proper to say.

“Well…” She continued, “You better find us a decent son-in-law." That was all she said.

I manage to pull myself together on my feet, senselessly using the plastic bag from my drawer to warp the debris, and before I go to throw the garbage, I checked my schedule I made yesterday, it’'s so much more released when you know what to do next. So I change my pajamas to my sport suit and go for jogging and leave the bag near by the garbage can.

I used to hate sports, I hated being a weak guy who never play football well and get laughed, I hated cramping in a small bathroom with all the jocks. But I have to admit that I do love jogging, it helps a lot about my illness. Yeah, right, that’s what sucks when you're a perfectionist, meticulous sounds not so bad, but OCD wasn’t something that I was asking for. I have tried millions of ways to keep me from noticing some tiny trifles. But only running every morning, listening to the birds tweeting, watching the beam of light leak from the horizon, that makes me feel like myself, because this is the only moment in my daily life when I don’'t think about the meaning of existing or what’'s the plan for next step or the fact that I used to have asthma, because here I am, vigorous and alive.

After the breakfast and making sure everything is tidy and stainless, I feel energetic about what I’m gonna do next. I wander back to my room, I got a this huge bookshelf for my bibliomania’'s sake. Another creepy thing about me, I like to collect books, all my books are put by alphabetical order, and then from light to deep in color, from high to low in height. And I have already got 500 books or so. And I just started “Giovanni’s Room”. Otherwise, I have got nothing else to do, all right? Believe me, I even tried to found a job, either I found that job was unbearable or they thought I was such a fuss. Let alone I’'m turning to 17 in two weeks. My parents, who promised that they would get back by then.


	2. Chapter 2

**Spen**

“Coming!” I shout. I quickly grab my shirt and rush down the stairs, and run through the living room to the place where the annoying sound keeps getting louder.

When I finally opened the door to see who the hell is that, I could feel a huge strength was pushing it. Is this a robbery? My guts are all twisted into my heart, I’m too young to die,But there he is, my former science buddy and new neighbor, the hottest transfer student who’'s ever alive, the famous badass of the swimming team and the love crush of all the straight girls in our school, the Shawn Evans, who is standing at my porch, wearing jeans and a Champion T-shirt, perfectly wavy and blonde hair always, with the pair of billowy blue eyes.

What’'s he doing here? I have invited him to come to our house once, because of the science project of our school. But that doesn’t mean we are friends now, I mean being friend with a celebrity in our school? Especially the most famous one, I must have lost my mind to even think about it. But he remembers exactly where my house is, does that mean we are friends now?

“Hey.” He awkwardly raises his hand and waves.

“Shit.”

“Seriously? That’'s the first thing you say when you see me.”

“I’'m sorry.” This is so much worse than a simple robbery.

“You are not going to invite me inside?” He asks, interrupting my thoughts.

“What are you doing here?” I ask back.

“I will explain it later.”

“No, wait, I mean why now?”

“Yeah, nice to see you too, buddy.” And he just pushes me away lightly on the chest, and walks inside, without changing the shoes.

“Wait! Before you chan…” It’'s too late.

**Shawn**

My shoes aren’'t dirty, I just washed them like, about... Well, they just looks like kind of worn-out. And that rich kid really need to improve his manners to others, first he blocked me at his front door, Interrogating me as if I was some kind of stranger. And now he is yelling me that I’m disrespecting and ruining the white marble floor.

“So what took you so long? Are you hiding someone?” I try to draw his attention away from my shoes. And it worked, his eyes start to fly around, avoiding mine. I mean everyone has this kind of experience, right? When you about to taste the forbidden fruit, and suddenly someone shows up at your porch. And you have to ask your secret one-night stand to climb out of the window.

“What do you mean?” He is lying, look at his unkempt and messy hair, and the T-shirt with the inside out. That’s what gives him away.

“It’s okay, I’m not his parents!” I yell to the upstairs. No one responds.

“What’s wrong with you?” He growls.

I look at him, those turquoise eyes. The feeling drowns me which is everything is wrong now.

The same as my old school, my new school day was full of the last thing I need in this world––Attention. Eyes followed me wherever I went. It was really uncomfortable, and I tried my best to play it cool. Saying Hi to those people who greeted to me, and sitting with those cool kids at lunch, I wasn’t surprised that they asked me in the first place. I have got this attraction inborn, which I’'m not really fond of, it’s so much pressure, if I can choose one superpower, definitely I’ll go with invisible. I knew the attention also came from the girl who gave me the school tour, Madison. She was definitely one of the cutest girl I had met in my life, the honey like hair in naturally curly shape resting on her shoulders. Well tan skin plus the pair of sliver eyes, guys must have been crazy about her. But I was just dying to find a place to be alone. All of these finally end up when I got to the science lab, without Madison being like a busy bee buzzed around me is so much easier. When I walked into the classroom, the class had begun.

“I suppose you are the new student here, Mr.Evans, right? Welcome to the Surfing High. I’'m Mr.Loewe, your science teacher.” The teacher said.

“Call me Shawn, please, and thank you, Mr.Loewe.” I replied.

“Sure, Shawn, would you find a seat and join us?”

I nodded and moved to the seats that the students were sitting. Actually there was only one seat left beside a boy. So I took it. The boy didn’t even look to me when I sat down. All I could see were his dark brown hair and artistic cheekbone.

“How’'s your day?” I realized that I sounded like some kind of idiot. He didn’t say a word. Did he just ignore me?

“Normal, as usual.” He said as Mr.Loewe turned around. "How about you?"

“School's okay, fun day? Not exactly.” I started to bite my pen head, I’'d do that when I got nervous. My ex-girlfriend, Tiffany, thought it was adorable.

“Well, welcome to the 'Suffering' high.” He joked.

“Funny, Shawn Evans.” I reached out my hand, but he didn't give me a handshake.

“Spencer Walther, everybody calls me Spen.” Instead, he turned to look at me and said. He had a pair of deep green jade eyes. When he blinked as his curly eyelash waved. I felt my heart have missed a beat, it ceased for a moment, and then pounded like I was going to have a heart attack. I have always got some feelings for boys, which I told no one before, but this was new.

I’ve heard from my teammates that Spen maybe was the best academic student that this school could ever have, the kind of kids that must be going somewhere. But I also heard people call him a weirdo, faggot even, which was actually a joke because he didn’t have any girlfriends or friends. As much as I know, girls are quite like him.

One thing good being a jock in a swimming team in this high school is that it will make you like a popular star, and that’'s why I chose here, where has one of the best swimming teams around the country. And that makes me, I don’'t know, important? I’'m not proud of that, just sometimes it can be really useful, such as when I found Mr.Loewe, because there was a school project I was interested in, well, I lied a little. The thing was I needed a tutor. So I asked him to sign me up with Spen since he was basically the only one I know on my science classes. Mr. Loewe didn’t even ask why, just said he need to ask Spen first, and then he gave me a you-are-such-a-diligent-student smile.

“Hey.” Spen stopped me in the hallway when the class was over, he was being so uncomfortable of social communication.

“Hey.” I couldn’t help, but offering him a delighting grin. It’s stupid, then I thought. "What's up?" I lowered my voice.

“Uh, that, Mr.Loewe just talked to me.” He scratched his head, rubbing his silky hair behind to his temples. I thought I knew what he was going to say, is it that hard to work with me? I wasn’t so bad at science, at least not like my English, I even got a few Bs before. I know he was pretty busy, he probably would turn me down and convince me to find another tutor.

“Yeah, I'm listening.” Just say it.

“Would you be willing to be my science buddy? Mr.Loewe said you need a tutor.”

I didn’t know what to say in a moment, he smiled, I could see his emerald eyes again. Feel like losing in a dense forest, I sank into his eyes with the stupid grin again.

“I guess I could take that as a yes. How about the library, after school, when you finish your training?” He asked.

“Oh, I’'m sorry, our training will last longer than usual, the tournament is coming. I think library may have been closed by then.” I finally replied. He frowned, and pouted his lips, which was cute as hell.

“How about your house? Is it cleaning there?” What kind of question was that? And my place had nothing to do with the word "cleaning", not even for me.

“No, not at all. Why not go to your place?” I suggested.

“I don’'t think it’'s a good idea, my parents may even not stay at home then.”

“That’'s the point, dude, I hate being interrupted when parents are around.” I blinked at him, “That’'s the deal, tell me where your house is, I will be there.”

So I was here, two blocks away from my house. Although I just moved here for a really short while. But I had met most of our neighbors, it was unbelievable that I hadn’t seen him once in this block once. Later he just told me that he didn't go outside often, only for school, jogging and some special situations, I wondered what’s the special situation like.

It was his mother to open the door, I almost thought I knocked the wrong door.

“Hello, sweetie, are you Shawn? Spen is waiting in his room.” Mrs.Walter said.

“Yes, I am, nice to meet you, Mrs.Walter.” She shook my hand.

“Lilian, please, Mrs.Walter sounds like an old witch.” She was funny, just like Spen. She looked just like an Asian, and she’'s too gorgeous even for this age as a mother.

To be honest, I had never saw a house could be so clean, everything was so orderly, as though I was visiting a museum, no, it was much more cleaning and stainless than that. Like I was a pathogen carrier walking into a sterile lab. It’s all white, white carpet, white walls, white curtains, white sofa…

“I hate being so tidy sometimes too, I’'m Stein, can’'t blame me for that.” That was when I saw his father walk to me and suddenly shake my hand.

“Nice to meet you, Mr.Walter.”

“Nice to meet you too, son.” Did he just call me son?

“Spen said you guys wouldn’t be home right now.” Did he just don't want me to come over?

“Oh, yeah, I got off duty early today, the patience didn’t make it until the surgery.” Mr.Walter says.

“Oh, I’'m sorry to hear that.”

“That's very kind of you, but it's okay, people die.” He smiled at me, I saw where the jade eyes came from, and the exquisite features. I smiled to cover the thoughts, and asked where Spen’'s room was.

“You didn’t tell me that Shawn is such a cutie.” Spen’'s mother bantered, while she was leaning against the door, the door of Spen’s room.

“Mom, go away, please.” He mumbled.

“As you wish, darling, call me if you guys need anything.” Then she just slipped away.

Although I didn’t really pay my attention to the project, we still grow the consensus that we should do the Siphon Phenomenon. I agreed because it sounded like some badass. Spen thought it was easy to achieve and no one would come up with the same idea.

“So, when will we start?” I asked, it was nice to be here, somewhere I was welcomed. I was kind of jealous that Spen’s parents are funny and understanding.

“How about this weekend? I asked Mr.Loewe, he said the lab is opening all weekends now, the demonstration is on next Friday, do you have any other plans before then?” He asked me. That was when his eyes met mine and locked. The savannah-like eyes were glowing. I was afraid to wink my eyes so that the spell would be broken, but then my phone ringed, it was Tiffany.

When I came back from the bathroom, Mrs.Walter was laughing hard while Spen was glaring at her.

“Stop it, mom, you are crazy.” He saw me was standing there, listening to their conversation. And he just put his head down, cheeks started to redden.

“Look who’s here!” Mrs.Walter called. “Shawn, would you stay and have some dinner with us? Today is Spen cooking.”

“Mom!” He shouted, then he turned to me. "Don't mind her, I mean if you are willing..."

“I’d love to, but I can't, maybe next time?”

“Sure.” He wasn’t upset about it, maybe even a little bit relieved. But I had to go, Tiffany just thrown my life into another big fucking misery.


	3. Chapter 3

**Spen**

He just stared at my book shelf for almost 10 minutes. I could fight him on the porch, right? Though it probably would end up lethally terribly. But when he pressed his five fingers on my chest, his strength was threatening, even if it seemed don’'t take any efforts of him at all. He has something in his mind. But I don’t really want to disturb him, because I’m a good person with proper manners, and the concentration of him gives me the opportunity to sneak a look from him. His long shining blonde hair has been cut into a brush cut, which is neat and cute, and I like it. As his hair on the temples grows shorter, his face become more pronounced and his features are more three-dimensional. I don’t know if it’'s just my illusion that I can see the sorrow flow out from his deep blue eyes. But then his big smile just makes me feel like a fool.

“Wow, I mean, wow.” It’'s not the first for him seeing this, but still it makes me kind of proud of these books.

“I know I’m not seeing this for the first time, but how did you get all of these book?”

“Amazon and some local store.”

“Cool.”

“And what are you doing here, exactly?” I have no patience to play “Guess what” with him.

“Since you brought it up, I know this may sound a little bit crazy, can I borrow your car?” He means my 16 birthday and coming-out present from my parents, I drove it to school once, but then I decided to let her rest in the garage with dust, because I didn't need so much attention, I wasn’t like some kind of fish jerks.

“For what?”

“A party tonight.”

“Why should I lent the car to you? Do you even have the license?”

“Because I'm your science buddy, and friend?” How dare he? “And I do have my license, by the way.”

“You mean the project that I did on my own?” Yeah, since that day he had never helped me out with the damn science project, and he has even barely talked to me or even bothered to show up at class since that.

“Oh, yeah, thanks a lot about that, I got my first A in science, Coach even commended me in front the whole team.”

“You are unbelievable.” I said.

“Thank you.” He quips. “Anyway, can I borrow the car?”

“I don’'t think so.”

“But I really need it, come on, dude, I won’t damage any of her, I promise.” His voice is so mellow and soft, sounds so close to my ears but also so far away. Seriously? I roll my eyes.

“I guess I can give you a ride there.” The car needs to be driven after all.

He is silent for a while, there was a beam of hope emerged in his eye.

“Okay, will you waiting for me there? I’'m afraid that I can't find another car to drive me home.”

“What? I can’t stay there, that will mess up my schedule.” I’’m obsessive-compulsive, not suicidal.

“Easy, make a new one, will you?” He lifts his eyebrows.

“No way.” It’s already too much to have you being here.

“Please, did you ever go to parties? It will be fun! I’m allowed to bring one there, and that would be you, okay?” He looks me like he is going to beg me. No, Spen, you're not going to this, you could get yourself killed, my tiny doppelganger hums inside of my head.

“Please.” He puts his hands above me and grabs my shoulders, true dog's maudlin gaze in the eye.

“Fine.” I request a decent funeral.

“Good, do you have anything to drink? I’'m dying from the dehydration." He asks.

“You can’'t just live without the water, can you?” I mock at him.

“Haha, very funny.”

“Actually, I need to wash the car first, it's been abandoned in the garage for like a month or so.” I tell him. “There is Coke in the refrigerator.”

“Cool.” He throws the word into the air and walks towards the kitchen.

My doctor always told me, try to forget, try not to fight it, just let it go, the more I resist the desire of doing everything, the harder I can do it well, and when things don’t go well, I will be so frustrated that it even can aggravate the disease I have.

It's totally a pure torture for me, the garage is so dirty, dust everywhere.I have no idea why I came up the thought to wash it. Virus are attacking my immune system, the dust are impairing my lungs. And the rag I'm using, ugh, I think I'm gonna barf in any minutes.

“You are cleaning up like a girl.” He says behind me, leaning against the wall with the Coke in his hand.

“First of all, that's sexism and gander discrimination. And second, are you always being an asshole like this?” I grumble.

“No, you are such a nerd. And you know what? You should to go back to your bedroom to change your clothes, you are dressing like my dad.” He says.

“Or what?”

“Or Halen would never let you walk into her house.”

“The party is in Halen’s?”

“What? She likes you, well, apparently when you in some better suits.”

“Haha, I’m out.”

“I know, she’'s kind of mean, but she really likes you, you know, girls talk a lot.”

“How did you know?”

“Well, I was your science buddy, wasn’t I?”

“What should I wear, then?”

“Why would I know? I’'m not your mother.” And then he just puts off his T-shirt.

“Give me the damn bucket and the stupid rag.” So I hand it to him, I can feel my thoughts are ripped out from my head and scattered into the wind.

“What are you looking at, go!” I run away, with my burning cheeks and shame come from nowhere.

**Shawn**

The kid is cute, but also weird. More weirdness than cuteness, I guess. The car doesn’t dirty , besides the dust, it’s almost brand new.

I have always dreamed to have a car of myself, but my parents didn’t let me, even if I got the license all by myself. I hoped to get a car for my 16th birthday. Nothing really happened except their divorce. I moved to New York with my dad for staying away from my mother as far as we can. That was what he told me, she was never good enough for this family. I don’t know what my mom had done that made dad so angry, which I’'m really upset about was she didn’t even try to get the guardianship, she give it to my dad as if it was nothing. So I left with my dad, even without saying a goodbye to her.

Spen would never know how amazing his family is. His mom was beautiful and easygoing, his dad was cool and the way he talked made me feel like I was a part of this family. And Spen himself is good enough to get in any of the Ivy League colleges if he wants. I thought this kind of family only existed in the movies. It’s way too happy for most of us to just dare to dream about.

“About to done?” He asks through the door.

“Almost.” I reply, and grab my T-shirt and the bucket, walking towards the door. He is standing there like a shy model, arm crossed. He's wearing a plaid shirt on top, left a button around his collar unfastened. I don't know if he's doing this on purpose, exposing his skinny and sexy collarbone, I can even see the hint of his chest, and the shadow gives me more to think. He notices I’m staring at him.

“Oh, I must forget the button.” He fastens the button.

“Shall we?” He grins.

“I’'ll bring more clothes if I were you, especially when the party gets a pool.” It’s true, all of our team members will be there, and so will the girls in the cheer squad. It’s actually our party following our big wins at the tournament, there are few colleges have reached out to me that they are interested in sending me the offers beforehand, but I will wait, I’m not in a rush, I’d like to see which school Spen wants to go.

“Ummm, okay.” He strides back to his room.

I found the keys in the bowl on the shoe cabinet. He has been in the bathroom for like a century. I could drive the car away right now, but I probably can't go much far, at least not far enough.

“Hope I haven’t held you waiting too long.” He comes down the stairs, with his backpack and a small black bag in his hand.

“Seems you have found the keys, give me the key, I’m driving.”

“What’s that?” I point to the bag.

“It’s just my clothes and medicine, just in case I need them when I outside.”

“For what?” I start to worry about my perfect and wicked plan.

“I have anxiety caused from OCD, if you haven’t been blind.” He looks around, posing like “that’s it”, now it all makes sense, why he keeps distance from everyone, why his house is so clean, and why he has the most ideal college application in the world.

“This is a terrible idea.” I say to myself.

“I’m perfectionist, not psychopath, I can still drive.” He snatches the keys away from my hand.

“Now, get in the car if you still want to go to the party.”

This is abso-fucking-lutely crazy.


End file.
